Dang Spellcheck

“It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.” This describes my overwrought experience with Spellcheck.  Lord knows, I value help with my lousy keyboarding and phonetic insufficiencies.  Reciting the age old spelling rules, like i before e, are moderately helpful.  Spelling and grammar checks to the rescue with innocuous underlines always bid consideration. Thanks Spellcheck, for making me a better communicator.

Other times, Spellcheck is no better than a “mean girl” poised to humiliate, embarrass and undermine my success. Working for years in reproductive health makes me especially alert to use of the word public that I’ve seen correct on more than one occasion to pubic. Discussion of breast can morph into beast, or best of beastly becomes breasty which reminds me of a mean girl or two.  Spellcheck teams up as the evil witch-sister to my tyrannical inner critic. It’s a lot to overcome for a fledgling writer.

After toiling for some time producing a piece that I thought worthy of sharing, I methodically checked and corrected as I read. Proof reading a second time I invited Spellcheck as another set of eyes, I perused again, uploaded, reread, reviewed and scheduled Publish.  Push- Zoom- Done!  I felt self-satisfied, almost confident.

Late the next day, my husband complimented the post. This is not the norm. It felt pretty great. Then he kindly mentioned, “I  did noticed two, tiny typos.” Tyrant, inner critic cackled in the background.  ”Where?” I shriek. Oh, the indignity! Switching Or to of and of to on!  She changed a favorite line ‘party of one ‘ to a party on one.’  Frankly, I haven’t been on one for the last five years.

My pride cloud burst with the realization I had failed, again, to be thankful and without expectation for simply completing a story and enjoying the experience of doing so. It was another opportunity to accept feedback and practice appreciation and a chance to laugh at myself and my arrogance. It’s crazy for a two -letter preposition to take down a grown woman to her knees. Believe me, it’s easy to blame, find fault or wallow in fat-finger, shame and dwell in the inner critics Failure-corner.

Spellcheck, don’t you know I want to be funny, to make people laugh, with me- not AT me? Life is funny and worth sharing, so don’t be such a breast, I mean beast, Grammer Queen.  I hope my readers love me or are entertained, ever widening my pubic- that’s public, even if I write just to amuse myself.

Fess up. Tell me about your “spellcheck” challenges.

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